Bird on a Wire

Prostap Day 5...

2012-02-14T18:47:00.009Z

its SO gross, holy shit someone kill me now. I am SO tired I literally had to sit down half way through my lil cleaning job and persuade my arms to keep moving! AND on Saturday I got my first hot flash, it was all of a sudden three times hotter than Vegas in my room and I shook from the inside out, my knees wobbled, my fingertips trembled, it was horrendous, even my strongest panic attack wouldn't match that. URGH freaking hell... And my brain has gone to totaly mush, although I didn't confuse Ian Brody (cheery scouse singer of the Lightening Seeds) with Ian Brady (notorious moors murderer), but its close... I actually said "that was funnier in my head" out loud WTF is wrong with me?

SO its Valentines Day (VOMIT), I am yet to experience a happy valentines day when in a relationship, plus the whole thing is so commercial and over run with just plain awfulness, I said as much to a friend who was also experiencing valentines induced hysteria in the middle of ASDA when all she wanted was a sarnie and possibly a bottle of coke that wasn't adorned with hearts and flowers. We complained for an afternoon and then I recieved the greatest valentine I have ever seen, a copy of NME with a heart drawn on the front (so artistically that I would have thought it part of the cover), with a random running commentary on the articles within (favourite being a photo of some new wave indie band comprising of three boys and one girl with the caption "milkshake, boys, yard" suddenly all makes sense). This though was just the tip of the iceberg inside the front page, in green lettering and some hideous font that would turn a designer pale was a poem about me, and how awesome I am.

Valentine Poem Off Of Amarzing

You are off of Norway and your feet got extra nubs
You is proper sexy not like him off of NDubz
I mean the one with hats whose rapping is all crappy
Not what would Tulisa do, she is way better than Dappy

Your milkshake brings all the boyz n the hood n makes the bitches holla
You is well good in the kitchen whipping up your fishy fiske bolle
You is taller than a pine tree and this means you are disabled
Your toe thumbs are proper weird, they are magical and fabled

You is probaby all confused thinking "who wants to touch my bum"/
is it Teddy Sheringham or Darren Anderton?
is it Gerard off of emo, is it Mikey off of Way?
is it a man off of willies or a lezzer off of gay?

You definitely don't know me, I am a mysterious stranger
Dont worry though, I ain't a stalker, there is no immediate danger
Anyways I think your amarzing, your new beard is divine
My favourite things are rock and ming... so be my valentine x

In reply,
my blake, my blake incarcarated, you are the elk to my skit
the rock to my ming, the fluffy balls of cod in my fiske bolle
I can't make anything rhyme but I love you more than I love my Fred Perry shoes
and I only want to eat pringles out of lager with you!
forever more (including beyond the grave) - Amy

I was going to compile a top ten of anti love songs, or songs that I think are romantic without being Whitney (RIP) warbling ANNNNNNNNNNNDD IIIIIIIIII.... with her wobbling bottom lip, BUT I haven't really thought about it hard enough so here are a few songs that I think are the be and end all of romance

In actual artistic news, I am going to submit some work for a local cinema night thats showing True Romance, I know what I want to do, but I have NO idea how to do it. As usual I am in a total artistic quandry. PLUS my lovely wife has just sent me a link to mass canvas competition headed by the always adorable Pete Wentz (he's just so cute), more artistic quandry ahead...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAND if you've sat through all that old nonsense here are tonights random pics
MWAH x

I am the waffeler of waffles!

2012-02-07T18:23:00.007Z

SO my body continues to hate me, I swear to god my left ovary is trying to break free of my body and / or kill me. Perhaps (I decided today while clutching my side looking like a lady who had gone in to labour) I am ACTUALLY carrying a Xenomorph who will break out of my lower abdomen and cause the destrcution of mankind and bring about the end of the world. SADLY I think I am not actually going to be that lucky and just have to continue to grin and bear it and wait to see what these injections do. The tramadol halluncinations continue, this week they have included me morphing in to Sarah Connor at the end of Terminator 2 being chased through a steel mill by the T-1000 (and also involved some kind of deep fat fryer), escorting Blink 182 through Toronto airport (FYI I have NEVER been to Toronto never mind the airport, although I am going to be sad now if I do go and its not like my dream). NOT only this but the tramadol leaves me with this weird sense of deja vu throughout the day, or perhaps its a glitch in the matrix and we are all being farmed for the energy our bodies produce in mass death chambers somewhere in the next century. My only other option while I wait for the injection to take hold is to return to ora-morph which itself sounds like it should be in a sci-fi movie all of its own, BUT that stuff is even worse, it has this slow release thing, so you take it and then for the next five / six hours you will sporadically feel that floaty light sensation you get when they pump you full of morphine in A&E which is ok when laying down, but experiencing it in the middle of tescos while shopping for sandwiches NOT SO CLEVER.

Last night I sat through a channel 4 documentary called "Party Paramedics", which saw local St Johns Ambulance crews / medical teams deal with casualties - self inflicted or otherwise - at festivals. SWEET JESUS who are these people? They made me (and others who shall remain nameless) look like we should have checked into the priory instead of coming home after Leeds Festival, one man had eight pints of lager and a herbal E and they took him to hospital! Lightweight! The only one I felt vaguely sorry for was the 17 year old who had drunk an entire bottle of gin, see gin is never nice, and in a field full of mud and piss = waiting for disaster. THIS thought leads me to the tale of the great Sainsburys Swinderlating of the early 2000's. Me and my fellow festival goer required more lager, instead of paying extortiate bar prices, we ventured to sainsburys and bought a crate of Carling (while there we DID NOT abuse the facilities in any way - UNLIKE SOME), only to get said crate outside and discover that the cans were smaller than anticipated, being already slightly squiffy and maybe a little stoned, this enraged us to the point that we drank a can each hurled the empties at the front of Sainsburys whilst shouting "You swindlerating bastards". Due to the smaller size of the cans we had finished our crate by the time we arrived back on site and had to have a sit down in the car park where we were found still complaining, throwing empty cans and asking a chap (who I am sure was actually really nice) why he looked like a giraffe...
Sainsburys you will never be forgiven, I won't go in them now, unless there is no other option, I actually revisited the sight of the swinderelation and said to my companion that I couldn't go in and buy monster munch as they were robbing bastards and went to McDonalds instead (because you know McDonalds is SO ethically correct).

AND on to some actual art...
I want to produce some tshirts, when I started thinking about this logically I actually answered my own question. I want to produce collections of TShirts and have them only be available in a certain number - say ten of each size (Small, Medium, Large) BUT could I actually sit there and paint THIRTY shirts of however many designs each "collection" has. I thought, could I design them and have someone else screen print / produce them? NO the point is with my art that even if a design is repeated its HAND PAINTED meaning that although its the same design, it will never be exactly the same one to the other, there will always be inconsistanies in my work, no matter how hard I try for there not to be.
SO I deem that I will only produce so many of each and then paint them as they are ordered, BUT am I selling myself short here? What if I want to sell them to independant shops and boutiques, what if I want to sell them at craft fairs and festivals? people don't want to order them and then wait for me to pull my head out of my arse and paint them three weeks later...
AND we come full circle, IF anyone has any conclusions or advice on this (NOT screenprinting, I can't do it, it's not for me) then PLEASE let me know.

OH and I finally took my sketchbook out of the wrapper and drew a picture of a vampire octopus called FANG - TO - PUS he's aces!

AND that was a right load of old waffle, so here's today's randomness...

please don't play with me, my paper heart will bleed

2012-02-02T18:16:00.005Z

Here I am again, I only blogged yesterday? WELL, I started out thinking of posting something on facebook about a movie that I have recently rediscovered but then as I got up to thinking about what I was going to write there was just so much of it.

SO without further ado, let's discuss LOVE and the media - this will be rattly, disjointed, and possibly incorrect in places, sorry.

NUMBER ONE - I HATE THE NOTEBOOK
my god men and women of the world get a grip on yourselves, NEVER have a I sat through 123 minutes of more self indulgent, mushy, whimsical SHIT. OH MY GOD its ridiculous, I hear of people weeping in the street over the notebook, when it ended I was cold, I felt like I had tried to swallow a big pill and half throw it back up again. WHY do people continue to put themselves through the watching of this movie? It didn't "break" Rachel McAdams into Hollywood, playing Regina George in Mean Girls did that. There is a twitter dedicated to quotes and prose from the notebook, every time someone retweets it I have the strong urge to "unfollow" them. You know how people HATE marmite to the point they want to throw up everytime they walk past it in the supermarket? That's how I feel about the notebook. My friend Megs on the day the new Florence and the Machine album came out went into Asda took one copy for herself and then with all the others replaced each CD in the top ten so the Florence album was at the front of every space. THIS is what I want to do when I see stacks on the notebook on DVD in HMV whatever I want to carry around a stack of big red stickers that say "WARNING" on them and point them in the direction of something else.

NUMBER TWO - TWILIGHT
OH MY GOD I loved Twilight the books were awesome and I am not a reader, it was perfect for me, easy to read, some kind of dark brooding male lead (although right from the start of the books Bella was kinda annoying), THEN teenagers came and stomped all over it in their kitten heels. The movies OMG they are AWFUL and as its progressed my love for Twilight has been slowly deplenishing. Edward constantly tells Bella that he can't touch her because he wants to rip her to pieces, can you imagine if he did? Twilight would have been 100 pages long if that. Twilight became MORE about the importance of having a boyfriend to "belong". In New Moon when he leaves she literally breaks into a million pieces and then goes off to find a replacement for him in Jacob (who of course is a sworn mortal enemy of Edward the vampire being a shape shifter YES he is a shape shifter NOT a werewolf / lychen)she doesn't get drunk, wake up in her own puke and then decide she was better of without a man who could rip her head off in the blink of an eye. SO the final statement is its tolerable, BUT I worry about the consequences on the teenage girls that read it. FYI teenage girls EDWARD IS NOT REAL, you DO NOT NEED a man to do everything for you, you are strong enough and cool enough to do it on your own.

SO what is a love story? well I will accept Dirty Dancing, Wuthering Heights (despite the trauma), but I prefer a love story thats not the main point of the film. A love story that smoulders in the background of space invasions and criminal activity. APART FROM Paper Heart.

Charlene Yi doesn't believe in love, and sets off around the world to talk to people from all walks of live about their ideas of what love is, how they met, how they fell in love, what divorce is like. While making the movie she meets Michael Cera, and her views on love totally change, I won't spoil it, go download it (I doubt you will find it in blockbuster), but I will tell you my favourite scene - she writes and sings a song about Michael called "You Smell Like Christmas"

I am not going to get into literary love, especially not Romeo and Juliet ITS NOT A LOVE STORY ITS A TRADGEDY! or comic book love - Tony Stark and Pepper Pots, Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson (and her many incantations, one being a robot), Silk Spectre and Dr Manhattan (although props to her for loving a big blue man).

Really I just wanted to complain about the notebook and rave about paper heart. OH and instead of random photos, tonights photos are of my favourite fictional couples
♥

the adventures of vodka girl and the accidental time traveller

2012-02-01T16:41:00.007Z

SO...
here I am again, having a slight panic attack because me 1TB external hard drive with all my movies / TV on it seems to have stopped working, best call in a geek I only wanted to watch "The Thing".

I was going to call this blog "an outward expression of inward emotions" but that seemed a bit odd. What I want to talk about was tattoos. Last week I got the original Adam West Bat Symbol tattooed on the inside of my right ankle, its my 13th tattoo. People say to me "but what about when your old and wrinkly? how will it look then?" you know what? who freaking cares. You know when you were fifteen and you LOVED Take That? My tattoos are an outward reflection of the things I love deep down to my soul (and yes I did love Take That, but I am glad I didn't have I HEART ROBBIE WILLIAMS tattooed on my chest). Now I agree that some tattoos are vulgar, hell some of the people I actualy KNOW have vulgar tattoos but its about what makes you happy. Some people wear tshirts that show their love for their favourite band / movie / TV show, and some people take it a step further and have it permanently inked on their skin, like me. I regret none of my tattoos even the ones that I have had covered up, they all reflect a love and a memory. When I spilt up with the ex I mentioned in my last post I wanted to literally cut them off my skin, as he had done them, I couldn't stand them a permanent reminder of a relationship gone sour. But now they are pretty pictures etched on to my skin NOT memories of bad times.

I was 25 when I got my first tattoo, and what they say is true it IS addictive, if I could I would have awesome drawings all the way down my arms, not just one at the top, it looks wrong, if you are gonna tattoo your arms do it properly and show your dedication to star wars or a nightmare before christmas or star trek, the never ending story (actually a falkor tattoo would be pretty dam awesome, falkor is my favourite fictional dragon).

Speaking of geekery (I will leave the tattoo debate for another time, I have said all I need to) I went into the comic store today and got asked if I was lost, erm excuse me? this is the 21st century, yes I have female sexual organs this does not mean I can't read a batman comic or want the latest issue of Hell Boy. I think since geeks became "cute and funny" (thanks Big Bang Theory) hardcore nerds are now withdrawing into themselves, it's like when anything becomes "popular" the people that liked it before it was cool become ellitest snobs, where as I am pleased to have more people know of all the cool things in this world. (the exception to this rule is when a song you LOVE gets over played on the radio I am referencing MCR's "Welcome to the Black Parade" here, awesome song, fantastic concept, DRAMATICALLY over played).

In other news I DONT need further surgery for my endo, but a series of monthly injections to level out my hormones which in turn will stop the endo for occurring which means no or very little pain. The side effects however can include hot flashes, well I get them anyway when I watch a 30STM video so no biggie. I a obviously please that I do not have to be cut open yet again to remove horrid things growing on my insides. AND I hope that this means I will not have to take tramadol anymore for the pain, last night I thought I was trapped in a room with Miss Havisham and a giant wedding cake in a box, this is NOT good, and plus the pain is still there I just don't care so much, dam opiates!

Also opiates, sleeping tablets and vodka are not a good combination, they make you think that forming a roller derby team (called the crash queens, my derby name would be "rushin roulette"), and that buying a chopper bike would mean your life would be complete. HOWEVER at least I didn't fall UNDER a table like somebody else I know!

My exhibition ended, I have no measure of how many people looked at it, but I did get a good write up in the Hull Daily Mail (although I didn't have my photo with the article as I was sporting a very nice black eye at the time of press) I got some negative comments on the article when it was placed on the website, but oh well, it's not for everyone, if we were all the same life would be boring (OH and I a sure I saw Tracy Emin in TESCO in Hull on Saturday, but again this could be prescription drug taking related).

I am now looking for more exhibtions to house some of my art, if anyone has any suggestions of galleries that might be interested within a 50 mile radius then hit me up with a message. I want to produce a "permanent" collection that contains pieces that do not have a specific theme. Something that could fit in with pieces by other artists randomly, christ I don't know if that even makes sense! Or my other idea is vaguely titled "Mittens on Kittens". I NEED to paint some tshirts too, seriously I must have spent easily £50 + on tshirts I could have painted myself and that probably would have been cooler because no one else would have the same.

PHEW! that was a load of old piffle huh? on to the randomness!

the one where I realize I have become a man

2012-01-18T18:16:00.006Z

not literally grown a dick BUT started thinking and acting like one. Here's the story.

When I was 18 I got my first proper boyfriend and then spent the next ten years going from relationship to relationship without any kind of real break inbetween, there were some casual flings, but mostly it was all in crazy marriage relationships. Until the last one, it was shall we say the straw that broke the camels back? It hurt, it fucking hurt so much, it was a MESS a big screaming crying burning items vodka swilling mess. It wasn't any different to any of the others, it just didn't work out, ok so he was a shit, there's no denying that. There was two years of moping, wanting another boyfriend more than anything, wanting no, needing to be loved again, needing to be with someone else to feel whole.

NOW six years later (yes thats right I said six years), I haven't turned into a "twisted bitter old spinster" (as I was once called after being single for A MONTH), I am not a crazy old cat woman (I do have three of them, but thats not crazy levels), and life "on the shelf" is pretty nice thanks.

I have been thinking a lot about relationships (and this is where I realize I have become a man) and it eeeks me out. I don't want one, I don't want to spend hours looking at furniture and debating what to eat for dinner, I don't want to make excuses for my love of the Twilight saga and having the musical tastes of a 15 year old emo boy. I am just peachy on my own, if I want to sit in a towel and read comics while picking my nose I bloody well will.

I have over 350 friends on facebook, and I thought maybe I should delete some of them? surely I can't actually know all those people? but I do. What would I do if I got a boyfriend and then decided I wanted to bugger off and live in LA for six months rollerblading along Malibu? Can't do that with a man in tow, what if I finally met Mikey Way and I couldn't make out with him because I had a boyfriend. URGH see? I have become a man, or incredibly skeptical, I know I am sat here going yeah I am ok alone, but I bet you are all reading this thinking its some kind of front for someone who desperately needs to have a significant other, thats not the case.

Am I a PLAYA? erm no, I don't think so. This isn't about sexual conquests, this is about ME and ME, or Me, Myself and I as De La Soul put it. Its about having the time to explore other things without being smothered by love. I am sure there is some modern day term for it like "Purposefully Single" or some or shit.

I am NOT saying I don't believe in relationships, they work for other people, I see happy people coupled up all the time, I don't wanna vomit on my shoes over their PDAs or seethe with jealousy over the nice jewelry they get for birthdays or freaking valentines day (best valentines day ever I got a copy of kerrang magazine and a twenty deck of marlboro lights).

My charity shop ladies tell me that it will strike like lightening (Or a truck driving a muscle car right through my heart - cheers for that euphamism gaga), maybe it will, maybe then I won't be bothered about saving myself for Jared Leto. BUT my point is I am not so desperate for it to happen anymore.

I think thats all I want to say about that, I don't even know why I wanted to say it "shrug".

OH I've got an exhibtion at the History Centre in Hull thats paintings of famous musicians either from Hull or part of MY musical association with Hull, go see it, it's on until 30th January. You can find opening times and directions on the History Centre's website.

AND if you've sat through all that, here's some randomness for your time.

AND here I am again

2011-10-17T19:31:00.009+01:00

sorry its been so long. My beloved MacBook Pro died its final death so I had to buy a new laptop, which took AGES to be delivered as I am sure they actually didn't have them in stock and I was lulled in to a false sense of security. ANYWAY its here now, but writing my blog on my dads laptop seemed wrong - even though I put it on the internet for everyone to see - it felt so impersonal.

A LOT has happened in the month or rather what six weeks that I have been abscent. My MBP died and then a week later Steve Jobs did, he chose his successor, watched him make his first keynote speech and died practically hours later. He waited to make sure he had made the right choice I guess. It was a terrible loss. Not only did he change the way we communicate with each other, but the way music is created, he brought about "garage band" allowing artists to record music on the back of tour buses (Cobra Starships "Viva La Cobra" was recording and produced using Garage Band on the back of Fall Out Boys tour bus). I have switched from iphone to blackberry - I have issues with ipods it would seem, I have one favourite ipod that no other will replace, which is what I put down to never getting on with my iphone. PLUS I love keys and buttons, oh I love buttons, I can text / tweet / facebook two handed and all is right with the world again.

Bugger all has happened artistically, well I am thinking of doing something alongside "Miss Vincent" BUT I am yet to come up with a name for it - yes the name is the most important thing - I want something punchy, something shortened, an synonym (is that the right word? probably not. It's hard to find the time tbh, if I am not at work (having three jobs as it turns out is quite time consuming) I am cleaning my room / shopping / visiting with Dulcie, which leaves no time to paint. PLUS the macbook dying has meant no new works being produced, and mum has made Mr Dunham move his things out of the spare room to make way for a Felix based room for when the Dunham-Frews come to stay so all the "stuff" is now in the front room, which was serving as my studio, but the question is now, WHERE will we all sit for Christmas dinner?! nevermind my painting.

Speaking of "Nevermind", the album of the same name has celebrated its 20th Anniversary. I remember where I was when I bought it, or rather had it bought for me, I was in a shopping centre in Sutton Coldfield outside Birmingham in HMV (remember when HMVs all had that really odd like grey marbled effect walls? and sold RECORDS?) Mum and Dad bought it for me, I think I must have seen it on MTV or whatever else I was plugged into at the time, perhaps the NME raved about it (I often had my nose stuck in the NME as a teen and then gave it up when I formed opinions of my own and realized how crap it really was). All these albums celebrating big anniversaries (Genneration Terrorist, Bleed American, Bullets...) etc has made me crave them in a purer form - Vinyl. I am begging for a record player for my birthday. Mr Dunham keeps telling me about the USB ones that plug into your laptop and turn the vinyl into mp3 files, erm how about NO?
Vinyl should creak, crackle, skip and be listened to loudly. I never had big love for tapes, or even CDs for that matter, mini discs and mp3s yes. BUT in years to come when machines take over the world or hard drives combust from having 18 million songs on them, CDs are scratched beyond playing and tapes are chewed vinyl will still sound great. Vinyl will still be here at the end of the world, when all is left are cockroaches (and Jackie's mum - seriously I am convinced she's "world" proof).
Hopefully the parentals will come up trumps with something and I can start buying limited edition coloured vinyl, vintage Blondie records and the entire back catalogue of The Smiths...

ALSO happening this month has been an investment in my skin, I am too bloody old for teenage spots SO I bought proactiv, its like a three step system thing, its pretty pricey too ANYWAY I have been using it for a week or so and my skin is loooookin gooooooood *walking advert*

I have read some books, yes me reading, I am finding working in the charity shop to be good for my reading habits, and I am reading actual books not just magazines and online gossip pages. BUT I will not make the mistake again of basing my book choice on title alone - "Girlfriend in a Coma" as it turns out is nothing to do with The Smiths, but some kind of bizarre ramble through the end of the world, including ghosts. NOW I love some post apocalypse but this was just plain odd.

Georgia has started working at the new Asda store in Beverley and loves it. The XFactor has begun, causing much shouting and text debate between me and megs and a walk through town on a saturday in pjs drinking and wearing sunglasses. I haven't been out drinking FOR AGES, I can't remember that last time I went out - WAIT oh yes I can, me and Megs drank so much we could only communicate in Prince lyrics and were perhaps a lil offensive towards people. Purple Rain soon became Purple Haze

SO I will toddle off now, but I will be back as I know that I have been missed in my blogging state. I have HUNDREDS of random photos that I have been collecting BUT here is a small collection for now.

Laters taters x

our lady of sorrows

2011-08-31T20:07:00.008+01:00

HELLO!
I have returned its been a long few weeks of work, having a cold, having emergency dental appointments and going to Leeds festival and FREEZING my ass off!
Georgia is back, she walked straight past me at arrivals at Manchester airport, I guess two stone lighter and blonder I look a lil different from when she last saw me at Christmas, dying in pain and doped up to the eyeballs on morphine.

AND how was Leeds Festival? cold, muddy (and when I say muddy I don't mean like a little bit of mud, I mean a FULL ON RIVER OF SLIME), and we complained a lot while wearing table cloths as ponchos and eating over priced shit chips BUT when My Chemical Romance took to the stage the whole thing was worth it. I mean, it was worth it for 30STM and finally seeing Jared Leto in the flesh (and his brother too who is REALLY HOT - but went out with Ceiling Eyes Audrina Patridge / orwhateversheiscalled).

ANYWAY back to My Chem, they were awesome, first thing Gerard shouted was "Let's fucking do this leeds" and then they literally ripped my face off with total awesomeness (hahaha I sound like a stoned american teenager), I jumped up and down to the point that my feet came out of my wellies (they got stuck in the mud), I think I MIGHT have elbowed someone in the face during Our Lady of Sorrows and I chain smoked so bad (I hadn't had a smoke all day idk why but as soon as MCR came one I felt the ned to chain smoke). We of course, after managing to stay vertical all weekend, slid down the big hill in the campsite on the way back to the car (MAN DOWN).

I have been to investigate a exhibition space (oh my talking about art?, yes). In January I will be exhibiting in the entrance "hall" (I supposed you could call it) of Hull's History Centre, its a HUGE open space with masses of light. I am toying with the idea of painting pictures of famous people from Hull (not just 20th century celebrities) but knowing me I will change my mind a dozen times before January and then end up doing my original idea with a week to go before opening day.... ANYWAY I am really excited about this prospect, and look forward to sharing my ideas about it all on here.

SPEAKING of ideas, I have started a journal, its not as twee / sappy as a "scrapbook" and not as date orientated as a diary, its just full of utter nonsense, I have realized I write in an entirely different language to the next person - there will now be a break for a toasted phili sammich - ANYWAY I have stickers and post it notes and its got photo pockets in it, awesome. Today I wrote a list of my favourite movies. Can you imagine if one day you lost your memory? and had no recollection of who you were. Its like that, or if I am ever cloned in the future scientists can get my tastes and personality correct. OK I think I may have finally lost the plot and with that I will leave you with a selection of random (and not so random photos).

and now for something completely different

2011-08-13T11:17:00.018+01:00

so long time no blog huh? I haven't been up to much just drinking and being hungover, I seem to be permanently out and about. I tried to stay in this weekend I REALLY did but I ended up going out last night and am currently tucked up in bed watching soaps on the macbook drinking water out of a jam jar that I "liberated" from somewhere last night - to be fair its their own fault for giving out drinks in fancy glasses...

I DO need to do something vaguely artistic and fill in the form to exhibit in Hull in November which I will do today while I am lounging around.

ANYWAY and now on to the something completely different section of this blog. I have found upon my wandering around the world wide web a "tumblr" that just posts the end scene from movies (I think its called "Final Image" for anyone who wants to find it). I have collected my favourites, so let's play a guessing game with them. THERE ARE A LOT, I will give cake to whoever gets all of them right!

Here we go...

I LIVE TO SHOP

2011-08-01T21:51:00.010+01:00

it would seem, I am going to need my dad to take the shelves out of the my cupboard and put clothing rails up, and don't even talk about the shoes, they are spreading far and wide...

SO I actually did some painting last week, I FINALLY did the Tierry Henry Tee for Si in the kitchen at work. AND I painted something VERY special for my favourite artcuntants birthday this week, (and FOOLISHLY didn't photograph it so get your camera out when you open it *please*). I throughly enjoyed it, and I should do some more on a regular basis but it's finding the time at the moment, even though I have mondays off now (while its the summer holidays anyway). I am spending far too much time (and money) lounging around, shopping like a heiress (although most of its in charity shops) and drinking iced tea.

I excitedly got SLIMMER OF THE MONTH last week at Slimming World AND I took mum to her first meeting too! I hope she enjoys it as much as I do! I don't know how I am managing it (I thank the stairs at work and the amount of times I run up and down them). To be honest though its more common sense than anything. We all know that we shouldn't eat massive amounts of biscuits, cakes, crisps, heavy sauces etc. its about turning back the clock on cooking really, we have become so lazy as a society grabbing jars of stir in sauces laden with additives and sugar instead of cooking from scratch even though its tastier AND better for you. PLUS cutting out on white bread and dairy (well cutting DOWN) has been really good for my tummy, its not so... *whirly* anymore.

I have, or rather am on my way to being discharged from my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy sessions, my worker is incredibly pleased with my progress (as am I). I have one more session after Leeds festival (the ULTIMATE test to my new thinking). I have been slowly testing myself with little things, like queueing up in Supermarkets (and the heat of saturday afternoon Primark), going to a wedding reception in a TOTALLY unfamiliar location, and eating (all be it alone) in COSTA. I hope I can keep up this new way of life, and expand the new things to include traveling to see friends around the country and Tom when he moves to London, PLUS when Georgia comes back (in two weeks) I was thinking about going on some different nights out (driving at first) maybe to Hull or Leeds, expanding my horizons on meeting new people. I want to get going to more gigs aswell, get back to Rock City in Nottingham, and some arena shows.

Saturday night was MENTAL, I managed to have three nights out in the space of like 8 hours (god I was out for EIGHT HOURS? no wonder I felt rough). I went to a BBQ at Toms dads house in Kirkburn then on to a wedding reception for an old friend (which was officially in the middle of nowhere past York), and then deciding I really needed a vodka and diet coke, I dumped the car home at midnight and scurried into town to get sloshed with the boys, which ended in me finding my laundry accomplice in Hooters and doing the single ladies dance. AND THEN (this being the most confusing point of the night for me) I JOGGED HOME, JOGGED! in my dress and leggings and going out shoes, smoking... I didn't feel too bad at work on Sunday just tired, seriously Vodka is the way forward in my drinking career I feel fine the next day, not like when I used to drink pints of cider then spew the next day!

ANYWAYS more partying this weekend, in both big and small people party form. Lucas's sixth birthday and Cooper's 30th birthday, sure I will be asleep most of Monday like I have been today...

Here are this weeks random pics, toodles x

I love Star Wars

2011-07-25T19:31:00.013+01:00

like a fat kid loves cake. No... seriously. To me Star Wars is the coolest thing ever, if I had my way I would wake up in a Taun Taun sleeping bag underneath Star Wars bedsheets, throw on a jedi robe and go to a master class of light saber skills taught by yoda.
Star Wars is the first movie I remember seeing - mum tells me the first film I saw at the cinema was E.T., I have NO recollection of this whatsoever - BUT I do remember watching 'A New Hope' on TV at my house on Montgomery Square (we moved out of there when I was 5), IN FACT watching Star Wars is one of my first memories EVER, and 30 odd years later Star Wars (not unlike my good self) has aged VERY well. I can watch it now, and have a totally different experience, every time I watch it, I notice something different.
AND THAT people is the measure of the best kind of movie.
Movies that are great won't age, you won't watch them 20 years after they were released and them have NO relevance to the world today. Great examples are anything by George Lucas / Steven Speilberg / John Hughes (YES John Hughes, apart from the technology seen in his movies they still hold incredibly relevant tales in todays world - PLUS fashion comes around, what was once 80's then became 00's and so on). Movies were actually better before CGI, when things had to be "built" rather than drawn, CGI looks dated so quickly - take the first Harry Potter movie's "Quiddich" scene, Harry appears to be more of a cartoon than "real boy", now go back 30 years and watch Jaws, there's no CGI there, no cartoon sharks in sight.
I think it's sad that the craft of movie making has been somewhat lost. Don't get me wrong, Jurassic Park is a fantastic example of CGI AND puppetry, that movie again is one that hasn't aged.
WHAT on earth am I wittering on about? WELL yesterday I was casually browsing ebay, sometimes I like to search Star Wars and see what the most expensive item is that is being auctioned. And that's when I saw it. A PIECE OF THE DEATH STAR... thats right THE DEATH STAR. Before CGI and animation techniques, sets were built and camera trickery used, the death star was never a great big ball of metal in the sky BUT IT WAS a board of MDF, egg cartons and other Blue Peter parts.

Now you go, go and watch the end scenes of 'A New Hope' and tell me that what you can see in the photo above bares any representation of the surface of the death star. IN FACT George Lucas started Industrial Light and Magic JUST for Star Wars -

"Lucas wanted his 1977 film Star Wars to include visual effects that had never been seen on film before. He first approached Douglas Trumbull, famous for 2001: A Space Odyssey. Trumbull declined, but suggested his assistant John Dykstra. Dykstra brought together a small team of college students, artists and engineers who became the Special Visual Effects department on Star Wars"

Upon my wanderings around ebay, I managed to buy one of these. I HAD TO HAVE IT...

I WANT ALL OF IT! especially the AT AT sneakers they are freaking sweeeeeeeeeeet

What has this got to do with anything I hear you ask? Well perhaps I felt I should explain why when I see a Star Wars related pic on my journeys around the interwebs I save it without thinking, this is why when I post my collections of random photos 2/3 will be Star Wars related. My art is like Star Wars, I set up my own company to create things how I wanted them to be, it gets better with age, AND I am sure I will rerelease some classics is 25 years time.

AND with that (if you have managed to sit through all that) here are today's random photos

Driven by Demons - RIP Amy Winehouse

2011-07-23T17:43:00.003+01:00

Yet another star to join the tragic *forever 27* club along with Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain, a total and utter waste of talent, yet sadly predictable. Although its still very shocking and sad, I would say hopefully people will learn from this, but they won't there will be great talents go out too early for years to come. Its like they implode from greatness. All great people suffer from mental illnesses or difficulties, using their musical / artistic / academic skills to brighten the world while inside they are dying. Gaga will be next, the best thing she can do is retire at 25 buy a small island and go and hide out there for 15 years and then do a comeback. ANYWAY RIP Amy, I hope you now have found the peace you so deserved. I am sure many people will "cry for you on the kitchen floor" tonight.

I was going to share my collection of random photos I have collected but it seems totally unfitting right now, so I will blog again and include them in the near future.

Rest in peace Amy x

Svenska Kottbullar

2011-07-11T19:48:00.010+01:00

been a good day for swedish things all round, the meat (courtesy of Megs and Asda) variety and tall viking variety, this season of True Blood is KICKING ASS (BUT witches? meh, Russell Edgington will be FOREVER the best True Blood baddie).

Miss Vincent wears have been paraded around summer festivals...

Which totally delights me! Spreading the good word and all that!

Still totally loving my job at Barnardos, loving the most that I am working for a good cause as opposed to a faceless fat cat pocketing all the money, the money we raise goes to help children who need some extra help.

AND that is all I really have to say about anything this week... I haven't been out anywhere or done anything other than work, hopefully next week will be more exciting.

BUT of course I have been collecting random images from around the net for entertainment purposes.

Toodles x

KILL IT WITH FIRE

2011-07-04T18:47:00.007+01:00

Howdy interwebs, well its been a LONG week in tink land, work, work and more work, only not of the artistic variety - unless you count charity shop window dressing?

I am loving every minute of it though, even if we only had about ten people through the door on my first Sunday! Even the laundry has been tolerable in this heat... I appear to have a somewhat brighter outlook on life, which is maybe down to hormones, maybe the return of Sheriff Northman on a weekly basis, being given the all clear post op, or inhaling too many cleaning fumes at Jodie's house? Who knows, but I won't grumble while I feel good. I am EVEN LOOKING FORWARD to Leeds Festival without any sense of dread - I always have a sense of dread when it comes to that place no matter the line up, those who have been will know how awful the toilets are and the food and the over priced beer blah blah blah, so to have no sense of foreboding regarding this event is a new thing, wonder how long it will last?

I am poor though, even after being paid less than two weeks ago, BUT my bills are paid and, I have my Slimming World money (speaking of which I have lost ONE STONE IN A MONTH!) I have smokes, so I don't really need anything else! Although I wouldn't mind some hair rollers to make my hair a bit erm bouncy?

TV is pants at the moment, well UK TV anyway, reality TV is at an all time low over the summer, no TOWIE, Made in Chelsea has finished, Big Brother has gone to Channel 5, there is a new one about models on E4 tonight that I might give a whirl. It's because it's summer and people are supposed to be outside - perhaps TV bosses have not noticed that this is England and we need entertaining in the rain.

ANYWAYS I am off, things to do and all that, here is a fine selection of randomness from around the internet including this week's True Blood screencap of Sheriff Northman.

Toodles x

I have come to the conclusion

2011-06-26T22:37:00.009+01:00

That Beyonce (all HAIL queen bezus) has some kind of gills about her person, how the fuck is she still managing to breathe, sing and dance like a amazonian warrior goddess? AND THOSE LEGS! I could eat nothing and run twenty miles a day and still not have them. Although Megs (genius that she is) thinks its from dancing in heels - maybe I could run in heels? I once read that Sarah Jessica Parker used to do that in practice for Sex in the City. I think if I tried that Cayenne Pepper drink I would actually die, but those legs DAAAAUM girl...

ANYWAY not a lot has happened this week, I am starting to settle into a happy routine with work(s) and just go about being me really. I spent my last "free" sunday at a car boot sale, then enjoyed a jaunt to a nike factory store (bought some sweet hi tops) and then a Subway salad. (I did eat a cookie, but I decided to have a *syn* free day today, although I still only managed to rack up about 20 - I am allowed 5 -15 everyday).

The nearest I have gotten to any art work this week (and yes I know I need to paint a tee) is making a mask to wear at Leeds fest while watching MCR, it's kind of a tradition I like to have an item of whatever MCR are wearing according to their current album, like I had a black parade jacket, and I had a school tie etc, so I made myself a killjoys mask.

As you can see I have been influenced by

and put my own lil twist on it, I know that it's supposed to be post apocalyptic but I need some glamour in the middle of a war zone, k?

And with that I suppose I should be off really, I think I might have to start blogging on a Monday as I will be working on a Sunday (and I know not a Sunday night, but I need can't NOT clean my room on a Sunday its the law of Tink). BUT until then I have a fine selection of randomness from across the internet (no QUEEN BEY included sadly).

Toodles x

After 16 years of "work"

2011-06-20T17:12:00.006+01:00

I have finally worked out how to do a Monday without feeling incredibly depressed - get up whenever, no rush, go to job no 1 (clean jodie's), come home eat yummy thai noodles, run for an hour, and then spend the rest of the day doing whatever. Its a great way to start the week without coming home feeling that URGH sensation.

In other news Slimming World continues to be great, I have lost a total of 7lb (half a stone), I got a nice pink certificate and sticker! Felt VERY proud of myself. I can see it in my face now, its not quite the round ball of fat it was, I feel like there's actually some shape there - although I hope (being a lil older now) that it doesn't drop and I go all prematurely saggy (us Dunham's do have a tendency for it) so I am hoping my Johnston genes kick it here.

I went out AGAIN on Saturday night, this time to Scarborough to meet up with the peeps I lived with at Uni - WESTBOURNE GROVE MASSIVE! - it was lovely despite the pouring rain, although I retired earlier than usual as I HATE the road between Driffield and Scarborough and in the dark and rain it was even worse! Especially when I got turned off the main road due to an accident and had to come home via a grass track through a tiny village with hardly any petrol, by the time I got to Ginger Tom in the pub I was shaking from fear (LOLZ DRAMAZ), I stayed for a quick (soft) drink and ran into an old pal who was back to DJ for the night in Georgie's bar. Waking up Sunday without a hangover was a strange feeling! I went to have a very nice lunch in Wetherspoons with the Homers! Came home and tackled the room of doom (I had been ignoring the state of it for about two weeks down to being busy / tired) it literally took me ALL DAY to get it back to a reasonably state of being, I swear I will never leave it that long again...

I have another Tee order from one of the Chefs at work, this time it's Theirry Henry or as me and Megs like to call him Terry 'Enry, I will have to get on with it later in the week, I need to buy a tee to start with and I am utterly skint until Thursday, in fact I am SO skint that I had to ask dad for £20 back out of the money I had just paid him back that he had loaned me earlier in the week! Its my own fault though, I had been sorting in Barnardos emptying the bags that had been donated and found FAR too much stuff I wanted! (I am going to need another rail adding to my wardrobe at this rate - Mr Dunham will NOT be happy!).

I have watched Source Code, which was "ok", it took me several times to watch it as I was putting it on shortly after taking my sleeping meds and would pass out after about twenty minutes. I finally managed all of it on Saturday night with a yummy chicken kebab (which FYI slimming world peeps, is syn free with the exception of the pitta - but you don't HAVE to eat that). BUT - going back to Source Code - I did ask my friend Andy what happened incase I fell asleep again... I also watched "Beastly" which is basically Beauty and the Beast in NYC, with an Olsen twin, I don't recommend it, unless you like sap and romance... and "Thor" which is pretty good really, I gave it 5 out of 5, but I admit that 2 of that number purely goes to THOR for being a beautiful Norse god (hail THOR god of thunder).

BUT (and OMG) I watched "Priest", it's brilliant, in fact it's SO brilliant I am going to put it on a par with Bladerunner and The Dark Knight (and for me that's a HUGE statement) . The setting is a crazy post apocalyptic world thats a cross between the wild west and tank girl, where a group of "priests" are like soldiers fighting vampires (but these are not like people vampires, more like the creatures in "The Descent"), ANYWAY watch it, it's amazing, it has the beauty of the original Matrix combined with a real edgy feel of a independent non hollywood blockbuster.

In other news today, Ryan Dunn has been killed in a car crash, I am so totally bummed out by this news, I LOVED him in Viva La Bam and Jackass. I had a total crush on him, even with his weirdy beardy man face. It so strange when life ends so abruptly for people my age in accidents and such. RIP Ryan

And that' about it really, another busy week ahead with my three jobs (which seemed to leave my uni housemates aghast on Saturday night when I told them - although I like having three jobs, it's always something different). ALTHOUGH I think I am heading for a weekend of actually staying in! Would you believe it? Probably not as I will more than likely end up going out, or I might see if Megs fancies a curry...

Random photos have been collected as always, peace out x

it's been a long two weeks

2011-06-12T19:26:00.009+01:00

I have started at the charity shop and I love it, I have lost 6lb thanks to joining slimming world (although I feel, once again, head first into cake and booze yesterday so I hope I haven't put it all back on!), I am running 4 miles a day on the air walker, I have painted a load of mozza tees for various people, and I have finally finally managed to watch Paul (FYI its brilliant).

So life has been a whirlwind of parties and nights out and generally being incredibly busy! I feel like I might need a big nap while I try and catch up with myself!

With all that I haven't had time for any art work - well I have had the time, but not felt able to give it my all - so I would imagine that this will be a very short blog.

It feels like everything is happening at once after nothing happening for ages. Tom's moving to London has come round far too quickly, I know I should go to, but I am not ready, maybe I will never be ready, who knows? I am sad to see him go though, of all the men I have known in my life, he has never let me down or hurt me, all he ever has been is brilliant.

New True Blood in two weeks, christ I am more excited than I should be - I would say that maybe I need to get out more, but I am out A LOT at the moment!

Right I am off to shower, scrub the hooters mark of shame of my hand, eat a yoghurt and watch some naff film until I crash out again, even though I have had a two hour power nap!

I have been collecting random photos from around the internet as always... ENJOY!

and after all that

2011-05-29T20:09:00.011+01:00

it's over, I cannot believe it. I will miss Sue so much and I thoroughly recommend you check out her work here I wish her all the luck for the future and left her with my life's mantra of "if you don't like it... DONT DO IT"

I have managed to crack on with some more prep work for a new collection of paintings "Pop Junk", which I have given the tag line of "purposely immature" as it is, I want them to remain simple and childlike, when I over complicate things all I do is give myself a headache...

I truly hope to get invited back again next year, as its so lovely and peaceful, and although I didn't make masses of money, I made enough and got my art out there which was the main thing, plus I am getting quite a few orders in on the back of being in the paper - thanks again Mr Petch!

In the meantime I should really keep painting and prepping on a regular basis, once my schedule is sorted with Barnardos I should make myself a time table that includes some art work thats just for the sake of it, not for an exhibition or commission. Although I should put myself out there more and exhibit more pieces of work, idk why I don't - I guess it can just seem so much hassle when you are busy doing other things like work and going out on the pop. SO if anyone knows of galleries that would display the odd work of mine (without taking a whacking great commission) then drop me a comment and let me know! I can't sit here day after day waiting for Saatchi, I am going to have to jump around and get his attention if I want this all to go somewhere other than Burton Agnes Hall - not that is not grand!

SO the front room looks like a bomb has hit it. paintings and boxes everywhere, I will sort it out tomorrow, I didn't want to think about it when I got home, I was far too concerned about my hungering for a KFC which was soon quenched with a trip out to kingswood (tbh it was one of the best KFC trips ever, I must have really wanted it) and it was a nice treat to end a hectic two weeks! I must get back into walking now too, my leg seems better, I even wore the easy tones today without them causing my calf muscle to throb! I am hoping that being a bit more active with my working at Barnardos will help shift some pounds! I will be thin! I have decided that this is my wedding diet (even though I don't have a fiance or even a bf) or perhaps just the coachella diet! (I need to look good incase I do get papped in the desert!)

This morning I was taking my regular trip around the internet and discovered a load of Star Wars themed pics, which I just LOVE, I love Star Wars its my one REAL geek out thing! AND I love these, they way that they are combined with old war photography is ace. I had a real thing about war photography when I was at college - especially photos from the Vietnam War.

And as always a smattering (oooo good word Miss Dunham) of other nonsense I have collected, FYI when collecting these this morning I saw the most frightening thing ever in icon form - An American Werewolf in London is an ace film BUT the bit where he is laid on the bed in the forrest and opens his eyes and they are yellow and he has fangs, OMG it terrifies me, I can't watch anything where people have eyes coloured the way they shouldn't be I have to look away - the Thriller video STILL scares me! ANYWAY until another time!

come in number 7 your time is nearly up

2011-05-28T21:43:00.012+01:00

The past two weeks have seriously gone by in the blink of an eye! I have been poorly that past few days - after finally catching mum and dads horrific cold - so I have been back and forth to the hall as much as I can.

I had a GREAT piece printed in the paper about me! I was even on the front cover! Imagine my shock when I nipped into the corner shop to buy a copy before work to find myself smiling away like a loon on the front! I of course then spent the rest of the day shouting "no comment" and wearing my dark ray bans incase of a looming pap attack!

Yesterday was also exciting down to the arrival of my 1tb external hard drive that I have nicknamed "the beast", I spent the best part of four hours transferring everything over - music, movies, tv series, photos, art work and it STILL HAD over 600gb to spare! YES! this thing is amazing and very reasonable too BUT it does need an external power supply, so I am going to keep the smaller one for carting around with me.

Today was ridiculously quiet at the hall, and it hadn't helped that there was a MAJOR mac crash and I had to come hurtling home and well find something else to do up there. (the mac is fine it would seem, BUT its getting unreliable *sad face*) SO I went to find my own fun by taking some photos around the hall itself. Its really a crime that people don't go there as much as they should, its truly stunning, bursting with history and right on our doorstep. I have posted all of them on to Miss Vincent's facebook page but here are some samples...

Hopefully, the mac will behave tomorrow, and I will be able to get one full final day in of "pop junk" stuff before I have to pack up. I am undecided as to whether or not I will pack up at the end of tomorrow or stay another day on Monday, I don't know when my counterpart will be coming to set up for their two weeks. I will enquire tomorrow and decide then, I have cleaning on Monday and starting Barnardo's on Tuesday (eeeeep!) so it will more than likely be the end of tomorrow I pack up, BUT I will return next year. In fact I must tell Adam Brant about the cost of the flat for the two weeks, see if he would be interested in coming to play next year.

(randomly right now I can smell play-do WTF?)

ANYWAY I have started watching LOST from the beginning again, so long life, nice knowing ya! Although I only have the first two box sets for the moment... RIGHT pj and bed time, I leave you with, as always, a selection of randomness from around the interwebs!

two blogs?

2011-05-23T20:14:00.007+01:00

in two days? crikey I must have a lot to say at the moment.

It totally occurred to me today that, I haven't uploaded the photos I took of my work that I made to display at Burton Agnes Hall!
And as I have uploaded them on to my Saatchi gallery, I figured I should really put them on here too... All of these are acrylic on paper, and approx 100cm x 150cm

you can find more info and more work here

as I leave Burton Agnes Hall I will be invited to display / sell a painting in the "Russian Room", I wanted to do something that was relative to the hall so I created -

(blurb from website)
The Ghost

The ghost of Katherine (Anne) Griffith, who died at Burton Agnes Hall in 1620, is reputed to have haunted the Queen's State Bedroom. Anne Griffith was the youngest of the three sisters whose portrait hangs in the Inner Hall, daughters of Sir Henry Griffith who built the Hall. The story is that Anne had watched the building of the new house and could talk and think of nothing else; it was to be the most beautiful house ever built. When it was almost finished Anne went one afternoon to visit the St. Quintins at Harpham about a mile away, but near St. John's Well was attacked and robbed by ruffians. She was brought home to Burton Agnes but was so badly hurt that she died a few days afterwards.
Sometimes delirious, sometimes sensible, she told her sisters that she would never rest unless part of her could remain in 'our beautiful home as long as it shall last'. She made them promise that when she was dead her head should be severed and preserved in the Hall forever, and to pacify her, the sisters agreed. However when Anne died, she was buried in the churchyard.
Then the ghost walked and scared the life out of everybody. Remembering Anne's dying words, the sisters took counsel with the vicar and eventually agreed that the grave should be opened. The skull was brought into the house and so long as it was undisturbed, the Hall was peaceful and untroubled. Many attempts have been made to get rid of it. Once it was thrown away, another time it was buried in the garden, but always the ghost walked with tremendous noise and upheaval. The skull is still in the house, built into one of the old walls, probably in the Great Hall. Nobody knows for sure just where it is but now she can watch over 'her beautiful home'.

Its acrylic on a A3 canvas and will be for sale for the grand total of £50 (higher than normal yes for that size BUT its a individual piece not a commission - does that make sense?) ANYWAY I want to do some finishing touches like painting the edges black and then its ready to go!

TIME FLIES in that summer house, seriously, it just goes so quick, I don't want it to, I want to stay there WAH! But I will go back next year. (if they will have me!) I am getting through so much work which you can see on facebook

RIGHT I need to go and find some more pop icons to work on! BUT yesterday was a good day for random photos around the interwebs so here are some as a reward for reading my TWO BLOGS IN TWO DAYS!

yesterday...

2011-05-22T20:15:00.009+01:00

went past FAR TOO QUICK! I had a Laura and a jolly good day doing lots of things like introducing her to a lot of important people in my life (sadly not Ginger Tom, as he was at work or Kelly and Tom as they were poshing it up in swanky Leeds). And dashed around like lunatics, then back to the station to put her on the train home and out for the evening. Another crazy night out with Ginger Tom, there was (as always) a lot of singing and dancing which last night included a rousing bout of hymns from the well known song book "Come and Praise".

HHhhmmmm

So today and all weekend has really been a non starter for me at the Hall, I have been up there everyday just to make sure everything is alright (although I am sure Sue would ring me to tell me otherwise). But what with work and other stuff I haven't had time to sit down, but this week (and weekend) *fingers crossed* should be less hectic. I have FINALLY got my start date for Barnardo's (god I am SO excited), I will be there from the 31st of May. In some ways its been blessing at it means I can enjoy a good few days at the hall next week without dashing off to conquer the world one charity shop at a time, and a full weekend (as its a bank holiday- without a hangover).

My brother has FINALLY sent me the LOST box sets (its only taken him six months!), so I should think that will be occupying my life nicely for a while, there is just so much of it! I watched the first two seasons, then got lost with it and when it was announced it would be ending, of course I had to see how it ended so I literally watched all of it online back to back solidly for a month. And once you're in LOST fandom you can't get out, the theories, the numbers, Dharma, the bloody polar bear, time shifting... SO I will go at it with caution this time, my OCD means that once I have started something I just can't leave it until it's done, which is why I think I have developed this swift method of creating art, I could never understand artists who would spend months and months on paintings, it would drive me literally bat shit crazy...

The bottom of the macbook is getting so hot that even with it on the piece of wood that I have it on, I am now having to put the wood on pillows as its burning my legs! Bloody thing! I need a technology over haul, new phone (which I promise not to drop), new camera (mine seems to have taken to flashing everything out), a new macbook pro OR imac (IF I had room for a desk) and an ipad to you know carry around and look flash (because if I go to Coachella next year, anyone who's anyone will have a ipad). Perhaps if I win the lottery, and don't spend all my money buying property in Los Angeles.

SO no new work to show, as I have not been taking the macbook up to the hall, I have an extraordinary amount of random pictures I have found around the webs and hopefully next time I blog, I will have more new works to show!

I need my own studio...

2011-05-18T20:38:00.009+01:00

or at least a desk in my room! I am LOVING having the space and time to work solidly on painting preps, the quietness of the summer house is just amazing. I am with a lovely lady named Sue Spivey who suffers from a condition called synesthesia which means she sees music, in colours and in shapes, its incredible I want to play her all my favourite songs and have her tell me the colours and shapes that she sees.

Poor old macbook has not liked being shuffled about, had a good crash when I tried to set it up in the summer house, I am on the verge of losing my most important tool as an artist, sadly its not just a £2.99 set of brushes *grumble grumble*

I have had some lovely people come in to see me, so its a big TWO THUMBS UP so far I am looking forward to spending more time there over the next two weeks. I will be so sad when its over thats for sure. I have noticed such a HUGE difference in my work its more precise, and cleaner, its so different. Am I being inspired by my surroundings? I don't think so, I sit with my back to it, as I am a terrible daydreamer when it comes to looking out of the window.
Here are the works I have prepped in the past two days (I didn't do anything apart from set up on Monday) I am really feeling positive and am working towards building a body of work that I can show on my own in a space at some point. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I have been hiding it away, WELL I kinda do, once someone told me my work was shit and that I was a cheat for using photoshop and a projector, so I stopped painting, pretended I wasn't an artist, and tried to have a "career" FUCK THAT SHIT! Now having my lil jobs, pay my bills and I just want to paint, I JUST WANT TO PAINT!

and now I am over that lil revelation, I am watching American Beauty, I watched it years ago when it first came out and I told the guy I was with at the time that I didn't think it "was all that" but rewatching it, its funny, is it supposed to be? why does modern cinema confuse me so much? PLUS I really dislike Thora Birch, I watched Ghost World and I didn't get that either, Enid's such a bitch (poor Seymore). I have also revisited some old classics like Romy and Micheles High School Reunion and Near Dark, and the A Team (again, I will NEVER tire of Bradley Coopers attractiveness)

SO work tomorrow and Friday, although I desperately need the money to pay bills I secretly hope that there won't be much to do and I can get back to the summer house, BUT I don't literally want to become the definition of a starving artist.

I leave you with a extraordinarily (crikey thats a LONG word) amount of random photos, there was a really good crop today!

at least the art is ready

2011-05-15T22:00:00.007+01:00

I am totally unprepared however, my nails are a wreck, my laptop needs sorting and backing up on the the hard drive before I take it anywhere, my hair is wet, and I need to write my blog - at least I am doing that now.

Today started with a freak out, and to be quite honest I have actually been beside myself a couple of times throughout the day, I just had to leave all the lil details to the last minute! BUT it will all come right in the end, I think I am running on pure adrenaline at the moment, its a good job I have my sleeping pills or I would be staring at the ceiling all night.

Since I last exhibited I have
- moved house six times
- had fourteen different jobs
- had three fiances
- one wedding dress
- one mortgage
- two major surgeries
- gained a nephew and a goddaughter
- traveled across the states
- had nine tattoos
- grown my hair past my shoulders and had it shaved
- LOST has happened
basically I have lived about five lifetimes since my last exhibition...

NOW my past two exhibitions (college and uni) have started on a Friday night, SO I simply glugged down some free cheap and nasty plonk before "facing my public" (so to speak) but tomorrow is day one and its MONDAY MORNING, I am so glad I didn't go out on the lash last night, so I look vaguely fresh faced for it all. I am also totally terrified which is why I am rambling and doing a *Neil Tattersall* and jumping back and forth between subjects.

My mind has actually gone totally blank, I guess its done for the day... SO I will leave you with a very extensive collection of random photos, and will try and update with photos as much as possible over the next two weeks. Thank you to everyone that has read all my rambly old blogs, its much appreciated.

it's the final countdown

2011-05-08T20:29:00.009+01:00

I now have just ONE week until my artist in residency at Burton Agnes Hall. I have sorted the crafts (almost) I have prepped all the paintings, and I have been to see the space in action (which I perhaps shouldn't have done as it sent me into a total blind panic). The wife has her train tickets booked to come see. Its all GO GO GO.

I have managed to walk 4 miles a day - apart from today when I walked around the corner and pulled my hamstring OWIE OWIE, I hope its better tomorrow so I can get out again with my easy tones on - christ they work, I get home and my backside is killing me. Plus I find I am coming up with all my best ideas mid stride across some farmers field.

Apart from that its been an incredibly quiet week, Sunday was out and about on the town drinking my own body weight in cheap cocktails in wetherspoons. Monday was hangover.com and the rest of the week was cracking on with stuff as normal, including not painting and procrastinating. Although I did have an interesting time with the huge role of paper that I have bought to paint my works on for Burton Agnes, while wrestling with the paper (which FYI should totally be a sport) I remember why I switched to canvas, BUT canvas won't work with my planned ideas. Said paper is now being nicely flattened in the front room under a mountain of trashy autobiographies that are for the auction (I hope they don't *taint* the future art). I really need to start photographing things too, I want a story from beginning to end of this whole process. BUT as usual I won't and everything will be rushed at the last minute like always. PLUS I want to do a tshirt to have on display too...

This week has also been all about JUDAS (JUDAAAAAA GAGA) with another crazy video from Gaga, she's a fucking mad bitch, YET this video I finally understand, the born this way vid was all a bit Geiger meets G.A.Y which confused the hell out of me, but I LOVE the video to Judas she has done for the bible what Baz Lurman (I am sure thats NOT how it's spelt *shrug*) did for Romeo and Juliet. People are screaming blasphemy from the roof tops, all I see is a modern telling of an old tale. I thought the church wanted younger people involved (not that I am going to start going to mass and crossing myself - although I do get nervous around men and women of *the cloth*), so here you have the leading biggest pop star in the world at the moment, singing about an old bible tale, with a video translating it into modern times? Well as usual religion is going to confuse me so I will leave these and be on my way about that subject.

The mbp continues to be the bane of my life, its now missing yet another key and randomly crashes. I would go back to a "PC" laptop but windows bugs the hell out of me, why can't you run OS on a PC? christ that would make my life cheaper and easier. PLUS I hate with an absolute passion photoshop on a PC, its all so backwards although essentially its exactly the same. I just hope *fingers crossed* that it survives being carted around over the next couple of weeks, although its not as portable as it once was...

RIGHT I am off to watch new family guy and get a good nights sleep for the start of a busy busy week (where I won't sit around procrastinating until Sunday and then have a mad panic). I have LOADS of random pics from around the web tonight, in fact its one of the main reason I blogged (I delete them after I post them here, and I am starting to not be able to see my macs desktop for all of them!)

Enjoy x

I am now on Sabrina Season 5

2011-04-30T17:57:00.006+01:00

and have to go through three seasons with no Harvey Kinkle which SUCKS! Sabrina and Harvey 4EVA!

Well now all the royal wedding fuss is over and done with - I hope you all had a nice day whatever you did, I ended up being fed by the Homers - salmon and cucumber sarnies no less with Lucas and Dulcie which I LOVED! - we can crack on with doing some good old art work without being distracted by RIDICULOUS hats! Seriously Princes Beatrice get a grip, you are not Lady Gaga, IN FACT I don't thin even Lady Gaga could pull off wearing a mantel piece on her head. And as for William now being "off the market" we all know that Harry's the best one, even if he is Hewitt's son and not Charles's!

In other news after viewing a selection of photos of myself taken at Easter I have taken up my diet and exercise regime again, seriously I looked like a football head stuck on a space hopper body with lil weeble fat feet at the bottom! Urgh, so I have been taking off across the fields in doing a mix of power walking and slow running. I had a pedometer app on my extra limb, I mean iphone but as it was a free one I got to 3000 steps and it stopped saying I had reached the maximum number of steps allowed! SO I came home downloaded the Nike app and off I went today - a whopping total of 4.75 miles and 785 calories WHOOO HOOOO! Plus I can post that to facebook to show off how healthy I am AND I can import playlists from my itunes to listen to on the go, which makes me even happier - although I freely admit I look like a tit because my headphones that are just the "ear buds" are busted so I have to use my slightly over the top Skull Candy "Low Riders" and while wearing Ray Bans it all goes very 80's and not in a good way. NOTE TO SELF - but better headphones. I have invested in some sensible trainers after being told off by my sports playing friend that skate shoes / anything with a flat bottomed sole will not be good for me, so I have ordered some Reebok "easy tone" trainers which help tone while you walk like the "fit flops" and OF COURSE this new found love of exercise has to have new gear to go walking about it, so I will mostly be sponsored by Nike! and using it for its correct use! I EVEN - and this shocked me after meaning to do it for a year... bought a nice padded gel seat for my bike!

Its nearly artist in residence time, two weeks two be (almost) exact. I have the paper, I have the prep, I have the money for flyers / postcards / badges NOW all I need to do is actually paint, its not that I don't have the time, but I am just completely procrastinating as usual! I should write down all the things I need to do - as you know I do love a good "to do" list - and then I can go along ticking things off which would make me very happy! You watch this space I will end up doing the WHOLE lot the night before! I at least want ONE complete piece of work (not including the piece for the Russian Room) done and the rest in various stages of completion to be finished while I am there - which is the point of the whole thing after all!

Tomorrow is a night out YAY! in honor of Lady Fletcher of Riverhead's birthday (everyone has royal names on this special weekend!) plus I think I might be going to a Kite Festival on the showground with the small people BUT then I might go trekking out across some more fields on a slightly different route no I know the one I have been taking is the length it is.

RIGHT for now have some random photos while I try and get this dam annoying fly outta my room!

rollerskating is hard

2011-04-27T20:01:00.005+01:00

or at least a lot harder than I remember, I wanted to go on a skate around the block but only made it 10 yards up the road and back, its really hard, makes my shins hurt like hell. I did not have a successful exercise day today, I went out on my bike for all of five minutes before remembering that I MUST buy a comfy padded gel seat before trying to ride it - it really hurts. I sound like such a wuss... BUT I did do 90 mins on the airwalker.

Which brings me to the subject of tonight's blog...

*SPOILER ALERT* (if you are not watching the series as it airs in America look away now)

This weeks episode Kurt goes back to New Directions and McKinley High - get your hankies ready for this bit, I shed a few tears. AND the whole point of the Glee lesson is that we should love ourselves and not change anything, that we should "let our freak flags fly" and all that. The New Directions performed Gaga's "Born This Way" as their closing number all wearing tshirts that had words on them expressing the part of themselves they loved to hate, or something like that, I get confused and blinded by Kurt's utter brilliance (his tee said "LIKES BOYS"). ANYWAY the point of this blog is that what would I put on a tshirt? what am I ashamed of, what do I love to hate? well quite a lot it would seem...

My "high intensity worker" (a fancy name for psych nurse) says that I should unburden stuff that I am ashamed of, then my anxiety cycle will break, the less phobias I have the better! or something like that. Without further ado my tees -

What would yours say?

hippoty hippoty HOP

2011-04-25T21:21:00.007+01:00

and with that Easter is done, I ate pretty much my own weight in chocolate and other assorted goodies. Had an ACE time at the local "petting" farm on Saturday with my nephew, brother, sis in law, some friends and their very cheery bubba named Cameron. Drinkies on Saturday night and then lots of sitting around on Sunday (although I did have to briefly go to work). Today has been work as normal and the departure of the Dunham-Frews back to Ross on Wye leaving us with a very quiet house without Felix's babbling - his favourite word is "CAR".

Over the weekend I also received the paper that I am going to use for my artist in residence so now all I need to do is get painting, plus with the extra hours I have been putting in at work I will be able to get some new postcards and perhaps some badges to be given out while I am there. I am SO looking forward to people seeing my slightly altered style of working and hope that it will go down well. I also need to complete a painting specifically to be sold / displayed in the "Russian" room at Burton Agnes Hall. I was thinking of a portrait of the family that own the Hall but then I really want a challenge for this, so I am thinking of a painting of the house itself? URGH I should have really decided by now its only three weeks away *slight panic*

OMG I nearly forgot to mention the lovely baby Haig Sydney who FINALLY arrived to proud parents Joff and Jaime on Friday afternoon weighing in at 7.5lb with a shock of dark hair! can't wait to meet her and sneak in a quick cuddle!

Down to the lovely Laura's over excitedness when buying tickets for Leeds we are going to go on the Friday too! EEEeeee PANIC AT THE DISCO! or as mother once called them "Panicking in a Disco". SO excited, despite the money its going to cost me *le sigh* its so worth it and with my CBT proving to be useful beyond belief I will hopefully go through it all panic free *fingers crossed*

AND speaking of CBT as I have my next appointment tomorrow I will be away to bed with the company of Heathcliffe and Cathy (WHY I put myself through the trauma of this tale I will never know), I leave you with a selection of randomness collected across this internet, none of which have any kind of easter theme at all (as I am sure we have all had enough of it)

the ballad of mona lisa

2011-04-20T20:56:00.007+01:00

my days are all backwards and the bank holiday weekend isn't even upon us yet! we have a poorly cat - well what happened was... he had arthritis SO the vet prescribed a medicine for him to help, only it helped a little TOO much and he has been naughtier than he has in ages INCLUDING this morning getting into a fight with the neighbors cat! He now has a lovely wound on his head that had to be stitched up at the vets and is sitting on dad's knee feeling very sorry for himself.

in other news I am in DESPERATE need of a new computing device, my macbook's power charger has become incredibly sporadic as to whether it works or not, ideally a new charger so I can use my mac purely for art stuffs and a tablet of some sort (64gb ipad in white - I wish) to use for my internet / movie watching / music listening... DAM YOU lack of ANY money!

ANYWAY since I have work and a nephew all weekend I thought I would bring my selection of random photos early. ENOY x

hello good evening welcome

2011-04-17T19:39:00.010+01:00

It's been a quiet week in Miss Vincent land. BUT its all going to kick off next week - working four days in the laundry, cleaning Jodie's, easter and then the following week starting in Barnardos! Crazy times ahead, good job I am continuing to sleep like a log so I have enough energy to keep up with it all! (and a diary to make sure I am in the right place at the right time) Plus the wee man is coming a visiting for the easter weekend! I have bought him a chocolate chick with chocolate buttons inside, which I am not going to eat any of... I swear...

I have decided that next year I am going to Coachella, its basically Glastonbury BUT in the desert outside LA - Palm Springs to be exact. I am sick of seeing it all over my gossip pages every year and me not being there. I best get saving then huh? I am sure that my wife will accompany me, she loves a good adventure, especially where bands are concerned! AND bands PLUS America? Bring it on - did I ever tell you that at Warped there was ACTUAL toilet roll in the portaloos? I nearly died of shock, those americans know how to do hygiene outdoors!

In other news the weather has been crazy, I have been in shorts all weekend. I ventured out to Primark today for the first time since my surgery - roll on me getting more money soon - so many things I wanted, BUT I was good and managed to come away with one tee and this years pair of plimmies (they had gone up 50p this year - an OUTRAGE!). I am not allowed to do the Roller Derby until AFTER my post op specialist appointment *sad face, nor am I allowed to do any other kind of heavily physical activity *yet another sad face*, perhaps I should just go out on my bike to amuse myself until I get to see my specialist.

I have also started "cognitive behavior therapy" for my anxiety attacks, I have tried counseling and medication for them before now but they always come back slowly after a period and I am back exactly where I started from! BUT this is different I really think this is going to break the cycle for me, and just in time for a Leeds Festival - where I refuse to let them ruin my 30STM drool fest / MCR dance-a-thon. I am going to talk about this more as I get more sessions, as my nurse tells me that I shouldn't "keep it all in" and that I should keep a diary too - so expect to see footnotes on my daily activities in how much my anxiety effects them (although yesterday I managed TESCO at peak times without fleeing the building like it was on fire).

RIGHT I have much to do, none of which is art related - note to self DO SOME PREP! - I will leave you with a MASSIVE selection of random photos that I have been collecting since my last post - 2nd note to self BLOG MORE - ENOY!

AND as a bonus thanks to my good mood, my song of the week! (I might make this a regular thing as music is an important part of the Miss Vincent art making process)

we could have had it all...

2011-04-10T20:00:00.007+01:00

WELL I have finally recovered from the almighty cough / cold I had been nursing for two weeks and am now feeling much more like normal. Its been a busy old weekend out two nights on the trot, Friday night slightly tamer than last night were I passed out on Toms couch after trying to get in an abandoned push chair only to fall out with ian on top of me scattering my chicken and chips across the pavement... DAM YOU! In fact I slept so well on that couch that this morning (and no, not on the way home) I managed to go for breakfast at Wetherspoons which was a little bit like Russian Roulette, the breakfasts all came with bits missing, and my "veggie" sausage (I can't eat most sausages down to an allergy so when out always go with the veggie option) was more like a sausage shaped samosa. IT WAS SO SPICY! Mid way through breakfast Ducie announced (incredibly loudly) that she liked my pink knickers, SO cheeky! it's a good job I love her so much, and with that we were off to the park and then for a lovely amble around Driffield. SO I may be better but christ on a bike I am shattered! Early night me thinks - hopefully I will finally get my Barnardos start date this week - so all the more reason to be well rested to take on another new challenge!

Not much has occurred art wise this week, I have done some Burton Agnes prep, which is creeping up on me rapidly, I need to order some big paper (I can't think of a more eloquent way to put that) to start actually painting, lack of space may be an issue on this BUT with the weather getting nicer I could always set myself up in the back garden... hhhhmmmm I need a studio space so badly - maybe I could use the front room if I promise dad not to get paint everywhere, that would be a great solution. I got my photos the other day that I am planning on having as part of my "display" I ordered them from Snapfish and got 20 prints for 99p as you got so many credits just for signing up BARGAIN DOT COM as I am especially skint with paying a HUGE amount of bills this month!

(OH THE WALKING DEAD STARTS TONIGHT - 10pm channel 5 - if you haven't seen it before I highly recommend it)

The rest of this week I have been catching up with some films that I have missed or not watched in a long time including An American Werewolf in London (without scaring myself silly!), The Big Lebowski (need to rewatch after falling asleep), The Social Network (yeah its ok), The Crow (shit in 1994 still shit now but RIP Brandon Lee and all that), and a WONDERFUL film that was shown at the Sundance film festival called "Catfish" which is a documentary about how a guy met a girl via by proxy on facebook and it turned out she didn't actually exist and had been made up by another woman, its really awkward to watch but utterly brilliant.

This week I intend to catch up on more sleep - I have knocked the ambien on the head for the time being - and appear to be able to sleep like the dead. Sulk around a bit, my wifey face Laura is on her travels and I am missing her terribly - if you want to be my temporary wife please let me know, the only qualification you need is to know the words to Grand Theft Autumn but a healthy interest in guys who were skinny green jeans would be an advantage... AND finally and probably most importantly get on with some more painting prep! I really wanted to have a running theme but I just can't tie it together, however my final uni exhibition didn't have a theme so maybe I am trying to hard and just need to let it flow as opposed to constricting myself to paint pictures within a certain demographic?

RIGHT I need to go and list things on ebay and drink LOTS more (so freaking thirsty which is of course down to the nice weather not down to me drowning myself in wine for the past 48 hours) and of course go to bed!

I will leave you with the random selection of pictures I have collected from around the internet.... peace x

END of the weak

2011-04-01T19:42:00.004+01:00

or week? who knows, four days in the laundry proved to be too much for me and on the fifth (today), I threw up and tumbled around a bit and had to go home RUUUUUDE. I hate being ill, especially now I am well (if that makes sense). I have felt like chewed up dog biscuits all day, hope I get over it soon. BLOODY colds are the WORST, I would rather have food poisoning for 24 hours than a cold / sinus infection for a week its SO boring laying around, I want to go out on my rollerskates! (without feeling like my nose may explode / cough up a lung).

AS you can imagine not a lot happens in the laundry, you wash, dry and iron then go home. Hence I have nothing really to talk about here. Hopefully next week will be a lot more productive, but may include a lot of that guy from 500 days of summer. He is FIIIIIINE! PLUS I need to find out when I am starting at Barnardo's (hopefully it will be after this STUPID cold dies), I CANNOT wait to start I AM SO EXCITED about it all! PLUS the extra pennies will go down a treat right now! I have spent WAY TOO MUCH on things like Leeds Festival Tickets, TOPSHOP vests and American Food (mmmm Peanut Butter Cup cereal).

I feel like I haven't had time to do anything this week! Monday was massively busy and doing it all still getting over a WAY TOO LARGE saturday night didn't help. Then the rest of the week the cold of death has taken hold, hence my total lack of anything other than laundry and sitting around.

*YES THE NEW DR WHO AD IS ON* (sorry brief fangirl moment)

RIGHT I am off to go peddle smut around the internet... Have some random photos - not including leaked Breaking Dawn (they are out there though - go my pretties and find them FOR TEH LOLZ)